My witticism for today (Camping pt.2 sleeping)

Once you decide on a spot to pitch camp there are some further considerations to take to your sleeping arrangements. Depending on what part of the country you’re in you need to inform yourself of the local wildlife and such. Most areas are bear country I go into so I know that if I don’t hide my food and seal up any stink from my garbage I’m going to get a visit.

This is highly undesirable if you’re like me and like to stare at the stars on a nice night out in the wilderness. Sleeping outdoors has it’s merits. Easy to clean up, easy to go when nature calls and easy to get vertical after a few adult beverages. Just remember that a person in a sleeping bag outside in bear country is also know as “nature’s soft taco” to a bear.

Don’t be bashful now here. Doing your business around the perimeter of your camp sometimes will help keep the critters away so go at it unheeded. Just be sure to keep your sleeping area downwind. Enough said.

Like I always say being for warned is better then being fore skinned, or something like that. At a minimum outdoor life in general requires some sort of protection. And I’m not talking about a raincoat boys. A canister of bear spray at minimum, preferably a large caliber shooting iron or some other such implement of destruction is advised since if need be getting in a tangle with a big critter with an inadequate weapon will just tick them off fierce.

When I’m out by myself I will have a string of cans I can set around so that anything four legged or two will have a surprise coming. They also come in handy for drinking out of when your short on utensils. These tips will help you stay safe and prevent from becoming part of nature’s buffet. Stay safe out there H.D.

 

My witticsim for today (Camping considerations Pt.1, fires)

Life on the road isn’t possible for most folk unless you do a spell of camping and tent pitching. Not everyone can afford to always stay in a Motel Six or some other such luxury like a Kardashian or the like. So in light of that when you decide on a spot to claim as yours there are considerations to take into account.

Today we’ll go over those things and some tips to make your life easier then a fox rooting through a hen house with no yard dog looking on.  Mostly you’ll want to heed to these suggestions as preparations and not while you’re in the act of camping.

First off and I’ve said it before in regard to many other instances. You have to be always considering the temperature when deciding on pitching your home.

If your not prepared for inclement weather you may as well dig into your life savings and cough up that twenty or thirty dollars for a roof over your head at a local and hopefully cheap room to rent. You’ll be dry, warm and ready to camp another day.

Being prepared like the Boy Scouts used to say is about the best advice anyone can give. I have some tips that will help once you’ve set up your camp and are ready to get that fire going for vittles and such. Get yourselves a bag of cotton balls and a jar of Vaseline. I know what your thinking , (I haven’t used a jar of Vaseline since my trip to San Fransickie in my youth) but listen here and you’ll learn something.

Take a cotton ball and rub a small amount of Vaseline in it. Do this to a good number of balls (cotton ones only fellas) and put them in a tin or a plastic container/bag for safe keeping. Once you’re ready to start that fire and have your kindling and such ready to go in the pit and1 place two or three of the balls under the kindling.

Take some care when your ready to light that sucker since if you’re too close you might end up like a buddy of mine we call “No eyebrow Bob”.  This will get your fire going quick like a jack rabbit on a date and you’ll be cooking in no time. Tomorrow we’ll talk about sleeping tips and considerations when on the road. Stay safe out there H.D.

My witticism for today (The right tool for the job)

We’ve all done it, using a butter knife for a screwdriver, a pair of pliers as a wrench, you know being lazy to get the right tool. Well I’m here to tell ya that there are levels of stupid you can attain in this arena and I’m just as guilty as the next traveler I reckon.

My latest delve into this arena was thinking I just may be able to do a bunch of crawdads in a hot tub. I figured with all that room the fifty or so pounds of dads I had would be a breeze to whip up in no time for one on my Hobo Dee Hoedowns.  Well I couldn’t have been more wrong then a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs, no sir.

For one thing that durn tub wouldn’t get about 104 degrees no matter what I did. I found out later that there is some stupid nanny law that prevents them from going higher. What a waste of what could have been the ultimate crawdad pot!. Retrospectively I should have waited to dump in the gallon of Tabasco and other road side seasonings and such before making sure the water was hot enough.

That was lesson one. After I used the pool net to get out what I could I decided to not let the whole situation be a loss so I grabbed my hat, a beer and my harmonica a figured to take along soak. I do have one favor to ask from my readers. If y’all know of a youtube clip or some other such advice channel on the best way to get red tint off your skin would y’all be so kind and send it my way?  I’d be much obliged. Stay safe out there H.D.

My witticism for the day (burns)

Yesterday I was out by the cement pond lounging with my pool noodle and my beer. I had left my hand harp on the glass table with the temperature running around 102 or so.

After a couple of beers and some Sun I decided it was time to toot some tunes on my harmonica. Well dad burn it if that Mother wasn’t as hot as raccoon running up a tree being chased by a hound. Darn near got a blister on my lip for sure.

Folks, dowse a hot harmonica in what ever’s near if it’s been sitting in the Sun, beer, water, possum urine, whatever’s handy to avoid that kind of injury. I be needing a straw for my beer for the next few days for sure. See ya tomorrow, stay safe out there. H.D.

 

One of Hobo Dee’s favorite recipes

I’ll start off here with an easy one for all ya newbies. But pay attention cause y’all can ruin your find quicker the a revenuer runs from the feds.

Instructions and recipe: 

  1.  A decent sized possum or raccoon, gutted and skinned (hopefully the car or truck did it for you).
  2.  A really big, and I mean big pot, like a big stock pot or some other such utensil.
  3. Water either from the crick or some other trust worthy supply.
  4. Gather up a bunch of wild rosemary if possible or if not some dandelions and wild grass and shoots will do.
  5. Over your fire get the pot to boiling but eventually you’ll only want a simmer since if you leave it at a boil you’ll just ruin the vittles.
  6. Place your dinner in the pot along with the greens and simmer for 5-6 hours
  7. This will give some time to practice your hand harp or just have a few cold ones.
  8. When the meat starts to pull off the bone you’ll know it’s ready for consumption.
  9.  Serve over some noodles and you got what I like to call a Hobo Dee spectacular. MMMMMMMYah!

On the topic of roadkill

Now there are some good vittles to be had for next to nothing if you know what to look for. There are definitely some dos and don’ts in this now. First tip I’ll throw your way is when perusing some fresh kill keep the ambient temperature in mind.

For example if you in harsh cold and the prospect you find is still warm, you just scored a Hobo Dee scrape and bake! Oh my Lord that’s the best yes sir! Just as well you need to be careful when it’s a tad warm since that old Sun can bake a carcass on asphalt like a Fourth Of July popper. There are some definite considerations when the weather warms up.

One way to avoid a belly ache is to note what other types of varmints are hanging around the recently or not so recently deceased. If you see a bunch of maggots, flies or other some such carrion eater you’d be best to leave that one alone. Another thing to watch for is if the carcass has any worms or other parasites already feasting on it’s luscious flesh.

If none of that is apparent your good to go and you’ll want to follow one of my favorite recipes I’ll put up in another post. Good eating folks!