My Witicism for today (Eclipse related of course)

So I found myself up on the coast of Oregon to get a good view of the recent eclipse along with about 500 other folk doing the same. It occurred to me that in days of old my brethren or fellow hobos must have had a fit when the sun disappeared blotting out their view of the world around them.

Imagine not being able to clearly see that box car door or the content of your recent bottle. Frightening I tell ya! I was most recently thinking I can’t even see well enough to blow a tune on my harp since I still play by sight at the moment. What good is a proper eclipse without music?

It got cold too, colder then a snow rabbit’s paw in January. Back in the day when there were no such things as special glasses and devices to view the sun I wonder if the end result was a bunch of hobos bumping into one another and falling off trains because of their vision impairment. It makes one wonder.

After it was all said and done and we were able to extract ourselves from the mayhem we decided it was time for a little eclipse celebratory behavior. But that’s a story for another time. Stay safe out there and DO NOT look at the Sun without the right equipment I’m here to tell you.

My witticism for today (I’ve been out for a few, but now we have aliens and cattle)

My nephew and I were driving down the road when out of no where some spit cup from some redneck trucker hit our windshield. It was like a Blitzkrig on the beach of Normandy I’m here to tell you. After I hit the wipers to wipe of this cretin’s saliva I looked in the sky and I notice this odd light. Kind of like the one I see after my favorite twelve pack, excepting I had not been partaking on my favorite hops and malt.

So I say to myself WTF is that damn light in the sky? It was turning blue, then red, then yeller, then green. I’m hear to tell ya it had more colors then a Brittany Spears outfit !.. I turned to me Nephew and I said did you see what I just saw?

He said, what did you see? I told him I just seen an apparition that reminded of a LSD flashback I once had on the road. (This had nothing to do with the cattle), but that’s coming up. I coulda sworn this was one of them sightings, you know a OFO or whatever you call it. You know “another f’in obnoxious hobo.” Know I’m here to tell ya, we’ve been on the road now for a spell and this could have been a McDonald’s hallucination, maybe some spoiled chicken nuggets.

But I’m think nah, cause the ranch dressing wasn’t spoiled. Anyway so after this we decide it’s high time for us to get shut eye.

We find a quiet place off the road to take some shut eye. Just as I’m ready to talk to the sandman I hear MOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Gosh darn it! What the hell, I’m more tired then a coon hound chasing a raccoon that knows the woods better then me. Then the sound stops, so I’m thinking it was the nuggets. But lo and behold as my eyes are closing again and I’m ready to take some of that sweet slumber it happens.

Off in the distance, MOOOOOOOOO. At this point I’m dreaming I’m going to have myself some prime rib eye since I’m going to kill that cattle and bbq him or her up for interrupting my slumber,MMMMM yeah. Gathering my senses I realize that these ungodly sounds are coming from a cattle truck in the same lot we decided to respite at. This has nothing to do with aliens at this time.

I’m off for now, both my Nephew and I are more then dog tired after all that driving, alien sightings and cow infestations that we need to take a moment to reflect and not speak about possible probing that may or may not have happened, but that’s a topic for another time.

Stay safe out there H.D.

No witticism today (Another thought for today)

Hobo Dee wants you to know, Dave, (a fellow traveller, and my best friend), well…his Father is going in for an “Oil Change”, much prayers are welcome, And folks, put that beer down of a sec…please hug and kiss your Kin Folk,, cause we all need each other., and be kind to one another, Ok, you can now pick up that beer…be safe H.D.

My Witticism for today (Traveling considerations)

The typical mode of transport in days of old for people on the road was typically riding the rails. You know jumping in an open boxcar and hoping for the best. That may have been a habit back a bit but if you try to do that now you’re taking the chance on getting bushwhacked or at a minimum coming across someone you’d rather not be sharing space next to.

Most of us that have seen Pee Wee’s Big Adventure can relate. And no there is no basement in the Alamo, (That’s a story for a whole another post there yes sir). I tend to cover allot of ground when I travel so I try to make it as comfy as possible. I still haven’t figured out a good on the road urinal though, so any tips there would be most welcome.

So my latest adventure is going to be moving a load of stuff in a trailer up to my Brother John’s place to load it in his barn for safe keeping. I’m talking a real barn here, one that any traveller would welcome on a wet night and a place to throw your bag down at. Looks like one of those barns out of some Andrew Wyeth painting but the girl there had a bit of trouble getting there. Anyway I digress.

I being frugal and of the mind to save a buck when possible figured that a trailer even making more then one trip is far less costly then try to move everything in one trip paying for a regular truck. Man, they wanted so much for that I had contemplated how much I could get for a kidney, but like my liver I need all the kidney I can get so that wasn’t an option.

I’m sure the trip will have some interesting tails of woe and entertainment so keep an eye out for those coming up soon. I’m off to start packing and planning so as always stay safe out there. H.D.


My witticism for today (Just some stuff)

Things have been kind of slow on the road lately so I thought I would just jot down some ramblings that go through my head now and then when my mind wanders.

On the topic of losing weight: “Put the damn beer down!”

On the topic of liver health: “Put the damn beer down!”

On the topic of safe driving: “Put the damn beer down!”

On the topic of shooting a perfect game of pool and or darts: “Put the damn beer down!”

On the topic of innocence and chastity: “Put the damn beer down!”

On the topic of taking testosterone and supplements: “Put the damn beer down”

On the topic of (oh,, look a squirrel) Sorry that was my ADHD

Until tomorrow, some things for ya to chew on if they apply to you or yours.

Stay safe out there H.D.

My witticism for today (Camping Pt. 3 hygiene)

We all know that when your out and about in God’s country that often there are not civilized facilities such as you’ll find in a luxury campground like a Good Sam’s, KOA or some other such city folk campground. After a few days most folk start to get a bit ripe, kind of like that roadkill that you best avoid in my other post.

There are some basics here that you need though. Water, soap of some kind, towel or a roll of paper towels. Water is your biggest challenge most times since it’s a luxury to have a nearby creek or river to utilize as your water source. I prefer the lye soap that my buddy One Eyed Jack makes since it’ll strip the chrome off a trailer hitch. Just don’t use it in your neither regions if you know what I mean. (Don’t ask me how I know this).

You will want something milder for delicate areas but the lye soap will get a week’s worth of road grime off the rest of you quicker then a commie running from a Marine.

Privacy is another concern here especially for us women folk. You never know what two legged perv could be out and about in the surrounding woods just hoping for a chance at some delicate hobo meat. You best watch your six if your by your lonesome and be prepared to defend your honor as needed. Hopefully by now you may have met up with a travel buddy and you can help each other out.

What I prefer is the standard P.T.A. method and get the hell out of the water ASAP. That technique was taught to us girls by my dear Momma on our homestead. If your unfamiliar with that process you all will have to use your google foo or some other method to search for what the abbreviation is since this here is a family forum and I cannot in good conscience list what it stands for.

Anyway, as well you have to also consider cleaning your duds usually at the same time your cleaning yourself (Here’s where Jack’s soap comes in really handy). Be sure to rinse that lye soap well out of your delicate underthings else wise down the road you’ll be jumping around like a toad on a hot metal roof. We’ve just touched on the main clean up needed when on the road, you’ll have other considerations as well that we’ll cover in some future witticisms. Stay safe out there H.D.