My witticism for today (I’ve been out for a few, but now we have aliens and cattle)

My nephew and I were driving down the road when out of no where some spit cup from some redneck trucker hit our windshield. It was like a Blitzkrig on the beach of Normandy I’m here to tell you. After I hit the wipers to wipe of this cretin’s saliva I looked in the sky and I notice this odd light. Kind of like the one I see after my favorite twelve pack, excepting I had not been partaking on my favorite hops and malt.

So I say to myself WTF is that damn light in the sky? It was turning blue, then red, then yeller, then green. I’m hear to tell ya it had more colors then a Brittany Spears outfit !.. I turned to me Nephew and I said did you see what I just saw?

He said, what did you see? I told him I just seen an apparition that reminded of a LSD flashback I once had on the road. (This had nothing to do with the cattle), but that’s coming up. I coulda sworn this was one of them sightings, you know a OFO or whatever you call it. You know “another f’in obnoxious hobo.” Know I’m here to tell ya, we’ve been on the road now for a spell and this could have been a McDonald’s hallucination, maybe some spoiled chicken nuggets.

But I’m think nah, cause the ranch dressing wasn’t spoiled. Anyway so after this we decide it’s high time for us to get shut eye.

We find a quiet place off the road to take some shut eye. Just as I’m ready to talk to the sandman I hear MOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Gosh darn it! What the hell, I’m more tired then a coon hound chasing a raccoon that knows the woods better then me. Then the sound stops, so I’m thinking it was the nuggets. But lo and behold as my eyes are closing again and I’m ready to take some of that sweet slumber it happens.

Off in the distance, MOOOOOOOOO. At this point I’m dreaming I’m going to have myself some prime rib eye since I’m going to kill that cattle and bbq him or her up for interrupting my slumber,MMMMM yeah. Gathering my senses I realize that these ungodly sounds are coming from a cattle truck in the same lot we decided to respite at. This has nothing to do with aliens at this time.

I’m off for now, both my Nephew and I are more then dog tired after all that driving, alien sightings and cow infestations that we need to take a moment to reflect and not speak about possible probing that may or may not have happened, but that’s a topic for another time.

Stay safe out there H.D.


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